Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Still trying to sleep

I got to say, it is so great to open up my PC and get all your messages!!
I have never had as little to do as I have today. It is the most bizarre feeling. Its strange waking up, bathing and thats the end of anything I need to do for the day!! I really have to pace myself!
I was chatting to my Gran yesterday and she said that maybe the weird sleep disturbance is from the anaesthetic. So I started thinking about it and I think I was having panic attacks. I have had 3 surgeries and been woken up afterwards. The last one was an awake surgery. I am also not sure how many times they woke me in those 6 hours. So I am probably having flash backs. Perhaps my body was starting to do it on its own when I would fall asleep. When every I would wake up it felt like I was struggling to breathe or being hit. Of course I like to analyse everything, so this has made me feel calmer.
So although sleep wasn't great last night, I didn't have any of that. I really had a talking to myself and tried calming exercises. Also not having any hospital background noise has probably helped. Knowing James is next to me is great.
It is quite hard to fall asleep when you can't put your head anywhere...

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