Saturday, January 17, 2009


I can't pretend that having a brain tumour doesn't wear me down. I am so tired of swallowing tablets, going to the hospital everyday, feeling tired and having my whole body go through physical and emotional changes. It is so tempting to look at the chemo tablet and say 'not today'

I look at pictures and think that I would like to go back to looking 'normal'. When my daughter had her 13th birthday I told her that she must love her body as it is because it will never look better than it does today. I sometimes wish that no-one knew about my tumour so that I could pretend that everything was normal. Fake it till you make it.

James & I have been doing a lot of research on how to add on treatment to boost effectiveness. There is a huge list things that seem to be effective. One of things they mention is cannabis (weed, pot, green gold) as having many benefits both in healing and dealing with side effects. This is from medical research not someone I spoke to on the street corner, by the way. (I have actually also had 4 independent people tell me about it) Some countries actually prescribe it. In South Africa, the drug punters like to walk past you and say "sorted?" So if I wanted to have tumour 'sorted' I would have to say 'no' or would I say 'yes'?

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