Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I want my life back

This past 10 days have been a bit rough with the flu. I seem to be getting out of it slowly. Its hellava frustrating. This is my last week "off" and then back to chemo next week. I am hoping for a few days of "feel good"

I am so incredibly frustrated being stuck at home. I go out but only seem to manage a couple of hours and then I have to go lay down. The tiredness is quite debilitating. What I really want to do is spend a night out on the town. On Sunday, I had to have 2 naps. I was so dizzy that I thought I would pass out if I didn't. I have started to notice that my memory and concentration is dwindling.

James told me a story this am... About a year or so ago, he encountered someone who had a brain tumour and was under going oxygen therapy. Well he has since died. What they have figured out is it doesn't work. So I suppose I should therefore be happy having chemo & radiation (oh yay) I know that I am moaning alot, I think it is my impatience and NEED to have this OVER. I don't believe that there is anything wrong with me which makes it even more difficult to deal with. That is why I prefer to call it a brain tumour and not cancer (still don't believe it is that)

James' gran seems to be coming out well. Andrew's baby is back at home after his heart operation. So James says to me that it is my turn to get better. (If you believe things happen in 3's)


Anonymous said...

It is so difficult to know what to say, Dee.
Do agree with James though, it is your turn to be well but this is the rough patch - and we were worried about the operation! Seems crazy cos looking back, in God's strength, it seems to have been the easier part.
Lots of love

Barb said...

Life sure can be rough - flu on top of chemo that has to be miserable. So glad you are feeling better though.

Good news about James' Gran and your nephew - hope they both get stronger daily.

Dee, I can only imagine your frustration. You have had to deal with this for years now - definitely your time to get well. But remember, you are right where God wants you at the moment and He is never wrong.

Lot of love.

Sandra_B said...

...YOU will get your life back...that's for sure!

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