Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Tomorrow we are entering the last month of the year. To say it has gone quickly is an understatement. I am now facing my normal fears and opportunities for the year to come.

I have to look around and ask where this experience is leading me. It is quite scary to know that I am going to go into the New Year with no formal income and James scaling down his operations. It is an absolute walk in faith. I know, however, that God has given me tools like my book, my coffee shop,  talks, James' talent etc to work with. Now it is time for opportunity. I do believe I am lucky in life. So now I have to send my requests for a GOOD YEAR.

I've been thinking about what it is that I would like to do that would really make me happy. Many people say that we all have a passion that we should pursue, but I have SO many things I enjoy doing and don't want to only focus on one thing at a time. I am hoping that something will turn up to be more prevalent both in income and significance next year.

I have met so many people through this book who have had some experience. It has made me realise what a huge need there is for someone to talk to. I must say that I don't feel qualified to answer questions or give advice - I don't have much tact and tend to be too opinionated. But if you are looking for straight talk then I will be happy to answer you.

Another thing that has come out of this is that I don't really like talking about the brain tumour since I put it in book form. It is the strangest scenario. I am finding my own story a bit boring (remember I have read it 1000 times!) and like to hear more about others. Even blogging is difficult and it is something I absolutely love to do. I will just have to find another topic. So I think a website update is inevitable!

Leo has discovered an iPod! It is amazing to see how quickly he picks it up and navigates it. Father Christmas is coming to his school tomorrow so Mommy Christmas is gonna have to organise some gifts! Adam is in this last weeks of junior school and Ana may move to another school next year! So it seems like all the kids will be in different schools next year...

Last night we had a function at The Grove. I really do love the parties and celebrations! (but what a lot of work it is)

I will be doing my LEAST favourite thing tomorrow and that is to see the Dentist!

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Today is my birthday. As usual it is filled with mixed emotions, generally I don't like having a birthday! Mostly because I find it a bit disappointing. This year knowing I am 35 is a bit of a shock! Life is just too short. I feel like there is just no time to get things done! I am in a constant rush to meet my goals - to my own detriment!

So today I've had to think long and hard about being grumpy on my birthday. Even though I hate the prospect of turning old and wrinkly, I have to admit that I am happy to get through another year!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Comments from the book

Well I think it is time to revamp the website... the days have been SO busy. I have had very good responses from people reading the book and it is so encouraging. Like I have said before, it is very scary putting your personal life and feelings out into public domain.

I love the feedback, good or bad (good is preferred)! As you may have realised, "Brutal Honesty" is best. Please leave your comments on what you think of the book! Appreciated...

Thank you everyone for sharing this with me...

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

On Algoa FM

Well I was honoured to be invited to talk on Algoa FM today. Thanks to Lance the DJ  (www.algoafm.co.za) and Ed (edlunnon.wordpress.com) who speaks every Wednesday between 10:30 and 11:00. Ed suffers from Corticalbasal Degeneration (CBD), a rare neurological disease. Thanks guys for hosting me!

For those who wish to purchase the book, it is available on Amazon, Kalahari, Exclusive Books etc

BUT I am offering a special of R130 if you order from me directly (South Africa Only)

www.fogartysbookshop.co.za are also offering the good price for the book and will be available during my book signings in PE.

How much my life has changed... those of you who have followed my battle will know this!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

My book signing!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Snowballing into Christmas

I can't believe how quickly this year has gone. It is strange, when I was going through my treatments, my goals were just to get out in tact! Now I have to look at the bigger picture and it has all of a sudden become really hard. I prayed about it today and just asked God to make it a bit easier and guide me. I don't want to feel like I am struggling anymore. I sound like a baby but I do think I have good cause for feeling like that!

The other day I met someone that had read my book. I don't know him particularly well. He started chatting about some of the things in the book - then I realised HOW PERSONAL writing is. I might not know the person, but they know a lot about me! I also don't know much about that person so that makes things uneven.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be writing! But here I am and WOW what a lot to learn.

I am feeling fine which is a good thing - when I talk about the tumour I find it more scary than just knowing. I just keep praying that God will bless me with a long life and thanking him for it.

Friday, November 5, 2010

A glass of wine

I am happily sitting here with a glass of wine (diluted of course) and I can slowly feel my muscles relaxing (including my eyes) Last week I had a glass of wine and passed out only 25% down the glass. I fell asleep for 10 hours, in my clothes, I didn't brush my teeth or wash my face. I couldn't believe how absolutely tired I was.

So now I have decided that after another busy week, I will do the same and already I can feel the effects. I have also realised that going off my meds for a few days didn't help my moods (had to go off for a bit from the vertigo) I do think I suffered from a bit of withdrawal. I definitely felt my crying come on faster than normal. I am on a lower dosage and today I got a bit worried because I felt like I was going to have a seizure. Poor James has a druggy for a wife! I suppose having wine is not a good thing when you feel an aura! Also I got hit with a headache - which ironically the wine helps with!

I have decided to start a support called "My Brain Matters" for all of us wondering out there in the dark! So all of you who have brain disease, helping someone with brain disease or want to help in anyway, please email me: deirdre@kohlerprojects.co.za

The purpose of the group would be to bring people together to share their knowledge and questions with fellow members. There isn't much help out there so lets try support each other, answer questions etc!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Trying to take a break

I haven't gone to UK - yes it is very disappointing but I actually don't have the energy to fight anymore. This past year has been tough on so many levels. I think when you are under financial strain it just magnifies the stress.

The vertigo is definitely better after I lowered my medication dose. I must be honest, I am still a little shell shocked by the whole episode. I wish I could relax but my mind just constantly goes in loops and "To Do" lists. If anyone knows how to delete a "to do" list from a woman's mind, please let me know.

I met someone from CT, Sarah, who also has a brain tumour. It was nice to catch up. It just makes me realise how little is available to us here in SA. I am fortunate because I spend so much time on the net that I can swim my way around better than most.

I have also realised how needy I am of the internet and blogging as a form of expressing my feelings. Whenever I get upset I seem to rush for my laptop.

PLEASE SUPPORT MY BOOK! Now that it is ready!!

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