Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Just rolling!

So much has been going on in the last few weeks. It looks like there may be a possibility of getting sponsorship for the Brain Tumour Foundation - which is really exciting. I am needing help with the website if anyone wants to volunteer! I am also nearly finished the hand out book for the newly diagnosed. WHICH is a BIG need for patients - as some of you may know it is really missing in SA.

Also we are moving forward with the life planning programme - which I am calling a "Life of Meaning" (for now) I am still struggling to name it properly. I am SO excited about it and really feel that it will have meaning to so many people in this life of instant and short term gratification. After a revelation, I have completed a model which I think (hope) will free many people up to live a deeper level of meaning in our capitalist society.

So with saying that... I have started to study philosophy. I am still in the process but I feel that - for the first time - my life has linked itself in all spheres. It has been so liberating and exciting that I haven't slept for weeks! I am looking at issues related to the life of meaning and I can only be grateful (without the cliche) for the role that the (ex)brain tumour had in my life. I don't feel scared of death (not that I want to die or anything) - what I feel is grateful to have more time to live my life fully.

My thought to you would be - what is your life's philosophy and will it ensure a meaningful life to you and those around you? Hard to answer - isn't it!

d:)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Finally at Houses of Parliament London!

Well 4 months later than expected, my radiation mask is part of the "Behind the Mask" brain tumour exhibition at Westminster. I commend Natalya for her efforts and design of the exhibition. Seeing our radiation masks makes a big impact for so many! Perhaps one day it will come to SA!

Although I was invited to the opening gala, unfortunately the timing did not work out. For more information on the exhibition go to www.btbuddies.org.uk

Monday, March 7, 2011

melancholy ...

Today I did struggle a bit in the morning. My over-zelous behaviour on the weekend meant that at 3am today I was in pain. I didn't know what to do with myself - then James reminded me that I actually have pain killers. So I gobbled them and used my feminine influence to entice James to make me milo to ease the vile taste. He did it - with a grumble - but did it non the less.

I honestly believe that my level of "will" is NOT equally proportionate to my body's ability. James believes that I would be very scary if I was the size of a rugby player! I seem to have a missing link between mental agility and physical ability. Sigh -

So today I was staring at my "To Do" list blankly. I ended up sending out a few quotes for The Grove (which is a good thing) but also pondering the year. Will I be able to get the BT Foundation off the ground, how will my coffee shop go, how do I promote my book and talks better?

I sat down and got quite discouraged that once again my "will" and my "physical" ability were not equal. It is almost paralysing. About 3 weeks ago, my mom and I ran a programme for one of the corporates called "Life Planning". I feel that with a bit of tweaking it can be a highly beneficial programme. Once again my thoughts were tested. So in my melancholy state I reflected on SO many things.

I have a life motto which has come out of my journey and that is "DECIDE to live" This is something that I HAVE to put into practise as I believe we have to walk what we talk. My mother's business is in its 25th year and she has the motto "Living the legacy". I thought that the name "Living your legacy" would be great for a workshop.

I realise that as important it is for me to set my goals, my vision and plan my life journey, I know that I need to commit it to God to open the doors where I am to go and close the doors that I am not meant to pursue. Our life is short and we have a purpose to fulfil during the good and the bad days. If I didn't have any challenges it wouldn't be much of a story would it?

Dear God
Grant me ...
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage and willingness to change the things I can,
and the wisdom and clarity to know the difference.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Belly Up

As if I can't get enough of doctors / hospitals. I went for a minor op today to ensure no babies on the way and tweak my uncooperative ovary.

Of course, as I do, I started the day with some nervous laughter, aided of course by a very amusing woman in the seat next to me. I must admit that this is A LOT less hectic than brain surgery - go figure.

I get out of surgery and ask about 50 questions - over and over again. Until the nurse says I have asked her that already. Then I realise that I sound like Leo on the drive to Walmer Park - asking for some form of book or gadget that will assist him in his shark research.

When I got back to the room my belly was VERY sore. I look about 5 months pregnant and it hurt like hell - which you know is NORMAL! Anyway when I pointed out the gushing blood from the belly button - I got a little more attention. Nothing serious besides the BLOOD! Oh and then - the BED PAN! No not once - twice. On the third time I was like "Whatever I am SO holding my belling and walking to the toilet" Just when I thought my stomach couldn't possible look worse! NEVER NEVER SAY THAT!!

So home in bed tomorrow also with my mac - I'm loving it. Definitely NO going out - I feel like that girl who ate the wrong thing on "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and swelled up like a balloon.


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